by Toni Daylor
Twins, triplets and other multiple births have blessed homes since women began having babies. With advances in both prenatal care and fertility procedures, it appears this phenomenon is becoming more common.
However, the mystique and uniqueness of multiple births still remains.
Thanks to the media frenzy surrounding the so-called “Octomom,” Nadya Suleman, who gave birth to eight babies — adding to the six children she already had at home — and TLC’s reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, the public has gotten a glimpse into the complex world of raising multiple children born from a single pregnancy.
Caring for multiples can change the dynamics of a family. Relationships between spouses can become strained; siblings may feel left out.
Financial concerns, time management and, in the early years, sleep deprivation, all present challenges to overcome.
Though not under a national spotlight, one MetroWest neighborhood has reason to draw some attention. Four families in Fairway Cove are experiencing the challenges and rewards of raising their respective sets of twins and triplets. What makes this situation unique is the fact that they all live on the same block.
Each family is at a different stage of the journey. All parents deal with the trials and tribulations associated with raising children; however, multiples can bring their own sets of issues, from academic choices to developing individual personas to providing one-on-one time.
Nick and Stina D’Uva can be considered the veterans of the group.
Their 22-year-old identical twins, Paul and Steven, are essentially out of the house, as they are finishing undergraduate degrees at the University of Florida.
On the other end of the spectrum are Tim and Amy Pennock, who must meet the constant demands of their infant twin daughters, Savannah and Delaney. Add to the mix the twins’ energetic 2-year-old sister, Madison, and it is safe to say sleep is at a premium in the Pennock household.
Across the street are Jim and Nicole Stefurak, who have their hands full with 2-year-old triplets, Drew, Trent and Sydney.
Fairway Cove residents (back, l. to r.) Jim and Nicole Stefurak experience the unique joys and challenges of raising their triplets, (front, l. to r.) Sydney, Trent and Drew.
A short walk down the block are Glenn and Amy Wilder and their twin daughters, Kyja and Myah, who will be seniors at Olympia High School in the fall.
“When we found out we were having twins, we both just sat there in shock and laughed,” Amy Pennock said.
Tim’s father is a twin, and he has twin nephews, so multiples already ran in the family.
“So many things ran through my mind, like paying for three weddings,” said Tim, with a grin.
Ironically, the Stefuraks’ first hint that they were destined to be parents of multiples came from a neighbor.
“Tim came over one day and said he had a dream that someone was going to have triplets,” Nicole said. “I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant yet. A few days later, the doctor confirmed that I was carrying triplets.”
“I was thrilled when I heard the news,” said Amy Wilder, after finding out she was pregnant with Kyja and Myah.
Her husband, Glenn, had children from a previous marriage, but Amy longed to have her own.
“We went through fertility treatments, and I would have been happy with one, but when I found out we were having twins, it was an extra bonus,” she said.
Though not positive she would have twins, Stina knew the odds were in her favor, as multiples occurred on both sides of the family. True to her nature, after the identical boys were born, Stina tackled the situation head on with a plan in mind.
“When they were little, it was hard to tell them apart, so I decided to always dress Steven in red and Paul in blue,” she said. “We didn’t have the intention of dressing them alike, but because they were twins, we received a lot of identical outfits as gifts.”
A common concern for parents of multiples is the development of their children’s own identities.
“We worried at the beginning that we wouldn’t be able to tell them apart,” Tim said. “But we found out quickly that they have very distinctive personalities.”
“On occasion it is fun to dress them in matching outfits, but as they get older, we will absolutely encourage them to be their own person,” Amy Pennock said.
Soon-to-be high school seniors Kyja and Myah have learned that just because they are close and share common interests doesn’t mean they can’t express their individuality in a number of ways.
Twins Kyja (left) and Myah Wilder of Fairway Cove are best friends but they also embrace their differences.
“Kyja is very organized and reflective, and even though I tend to be quiet at school, I think I am more of an extrovert,” Myah said.
Their choices in music, clothes and the décor of their bedrooms also reflect their distinct tastes.
“Our sense of style is very different,” Myah said.
“Each of the girls are very creative and have their individual strengths,” Glenn said.
Myah and Kyja are particularly drawn to the entertainment business, which is not surprising, since their father has worked in the movie industry for years.
“Before they came home from the hospital, their first stop was a movie set,” Amy Wilder said.
In fact, both girls intend to pursue careers in filmmaking. The twins already have a couple of accolades under their belts after winning awards for two public service announcements they wrote and produced.
Though encouraging their respective twins to be involved in a number of sports, music lessons, dance and social activities, the D’Uvas and Wilders found their children tended to gravitate toward the same interests.
After graduating from OHS, Paul and Steven knew they both wanted to do something in the construction industry. Paul is pursuing a degree in engineering, while Steven is focusing on the structural aspects of construction.
“We chose the same college because it had a good program for what we wanted to do, not because we felt we had to stay together,” said Paul, who also said he and Steven have been roommates since they started at UF.
“We’ve been around each other all our lives and knew we got along, so we didn’t want to chance rooming with someone we wouldn’t like,” Steven added.
Though the Pennocks’ and Stefuraks’ children are not yet school-age, the families will soon need to make a decision many parents of multiples face — whether to put them in separate classrooms.
“I knew from the beginning I wanted the boys to stick together, and sometimes I had to challenge school administrators who thought it best to separate them,” Stina said. “My thought was if they both had the same teacher, they would get exactly the same level of education.
Every teacher has their own style and strengths, and I wanted the instruction my sons received to be comparable.”
As a result, Paul and Steven have always had the same teachers, with the exception of second grade and a few electives in high school.
Interestingly, their academic aptitudes are practically identical. During their senior year, they earned GPAs within one-thousandth of a point of each other, tied for the 16th spot in their graduating class, and scored in the same ranges on the SAT and ACT.
Identical twins Steven (left) and Paul D’Uva of Fairway Cove tie for the 16th spot in their graduating class at Olympia High School.
Myah and Kyja also display an uncanny ability to score the same on tests.
“Sometimes, even if we were sitting on opposite sides of the room, we would miss the same question, or our answers would be the same,” Kyja said.
“It has been very beneficial to them to be in the same class,” Amy Wilder said. “They each have their strong subjects and are able to help one another on projects.”
The theory that multiples share a secret language seems to be true, according to the D’Uva and Wilder twins.
“Half the time, we don’t have to talk,” Steven said. “I’m not saying we have ESP or anything; it’s just that we have been around each other for so long, we know what the other is thinking.”
Myah agreed. “Many times we will finish each other’s sentences,” she said.
Twins often travel in the same social circles, given their age and shared interests.
“We have a lot of the same friends,” Kyja said.
“We have other friends, too,” Myah quickly added. “Just because we are close and consider ourselves best friends doesn’t mean we don’t have lives apart from each other. That’s the one thing I want to get across. We are not the same person, and we don’t always have to be together.”
“Having a twin has its challenges, I guess,” Paul said. “But it is also good because I know [Steven] will always be there for me.”
“I think every child should have a twin because of the close relationship they share,” Amy Wilder said. “My daughters are very protective of one another.”
The D’Uvas and Wilders are on the homestretch as their children become adults.
Down the street, the Pennocks and Stefuraks are at the start and facing a different set of obstacles and decisions.
Time management appears to be the commonly expressed challenge for both families. Nicole and Jim work full time, and Jim also is pursuing a master’s degree.
(Clockwise from top) Tim and Amy Pennock of Fairway Cove share a full house with twins Savannah and Delaney, and 2-year-old Madison.
“It can get a little crazy,” Jim said.
“I don’t always get the chance to do the hobbies and things I used to, like go out on our boat,” Tim said. “But I also realize that this is just a short period of time in the whole scheme of things, and my free time is over for a while.”
Keeping balance is what Nicole struggles with.
“I have learned to let things go and not worry about the small stuff, like having my house in perfect order. To me, it is more important to spend time with my family.”
All four of these families admitted that it can be hard to have one-on-one time with each of their children. More often than not, they exist as a unit, especially during the younger years.
In addition, outings with multiples can be challenging, even without the extra attention they often bring.
“Sometimes we will split our triplets up into separate strollers to avoid the constant attention they seem to cause,” said Jim, who also said he understands that people are naturally curious and do not mean any harm.
Amy Pennock finds relief and support through her involvement with the Greater Orlando Mothers of Twins & Triplets club. This organization offers support, advice, educational materials and a place where members can indulge in a little social time with other mothers of multiples.
According to Stina, who served as president of GOMOTT for nearly three years, there is no better person than a fellow mother of multiples to truly understand the challenges of this double or multiple blessing.
“When we say we understand what it is like to have two or more children close together in age, we really mean it,” she said. “A year or nine months apart doesn’t get much sympathy from us. Our response is, ‘Try a couple of minutes apart.’”
Amy Wilder attended a few meetings when her girls were young.
“The meetings were helpful, but I found I would more often turn to my sister for advice, since she also had twins.”
Nicole went to the monthly GOMOTT meetings more while she was pregnant. Now, between work and caring for the triplets, it is harder to get away.
“When I am able to go, it is really nice to be able to talk with other parents that are in the same situation and exchange ideas and advice,” she said.
Recognizing that the occurrence of multiple births is on the rise, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs Inc. co-partnered with Twins Magazine and the Fetal Hope Foundation to celebrate April as the inaugural National Multiple Birth Awareness Month.
GOMOTT also helps members with issues such as how to help siblings of multiples adjust. Siblings may often feel left out of the center of attention.
“Madison loves the babies,” Amy Pennock said. “The best thing we did when I was pregnant was to make it all about her. We kept stressing that they were her baby sisters.”
Nick and Stina have another son, Marc, who will be a senior at OHS next fall. According to Stina, he was given the same opportunities and support as the twins. In fact, Paul and Steven jokingly said Marc had it better because he always had his own room while they shared one.
All of the families agree that the rewards of having multiples far outweigh the challenges.
“We feel so lucky,” Nicole said. “I think it is the coolest thing to have triplets.”
Jim and Nicole have their hands full with their toddler triplets, but adding to their family is not out of the question.
“I like to think we have enough on our plate — for now,” Jim added, with a smile.
For more information about Greater Orlando Mothers of Twins & Triplets, visit www.gomott.org on the Web.
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