Women Form Amy’s Army in Honor of Dear Friend

The Battle Continues

by Karen V. Contino


S. E. Hinton famously said, “If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.”

By this American author’s standard, Amy Ames made many people more than lucky.

“One of Amy’s most amazing gifts was she could make anyone feel like her best friend,” said Mia Laudato, who met Amy 14 years ago at a breast-feeding support group at Florida Hospital. “She made connections with everybody. If she met you, she would email or contact you the next day with the name of a person she knew who could help you with your situation. She loved to network people together.”

“She was one of the most genuine people I have ever met,” agreed Amy Buck, who met Ames when they were both students at the University of Delaware. “Her warmth and smile — people were just drawn to her, and she was always welcoming. She was a lovely human being.”

Sadly, Ames was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer in the spring of 2013. She lost her battle at just 42 years old on Feb. 25, 2014. Today, her tremendous memory lives on in her son, Jacob, now 14, her family and a veritable “army” of friends.

“When I gave her eulogy, I said, ‘Amy was one of my best friends,’” said Laudato. “And then I said, ‘Of course all of you think that, too.’ And everyone laughed because it was true. All of us felt like Amy was our best friend. She had this amazing way of making you feel like you were the only one in her world.”

“I have so much gratitude and thankfulness that someone like her was brought into my life,” said Shauna Anstey of Winter Garden, who met Ames in early 2000 through mutual friends. “We were both event planners. Amy was just one of those people — you just clicked. She could not have been more joyful. She thought everything you did was great. She had a way to make you feel you were the only one in the room, to make you feel special. You never wondered where you stood with her.”

Anstey continues to be inspired by Ames and the resolve she demonstrated despite her personal struggles.

“She did not always have things easy,” Anstey said. “She was a single mom for many years. But she always had such a great energy about her. She lit up a room and brought this huge energy to everything she did.

“And she was always authentic, always real. I don’t know how she did that. We knew she had issues, but she handled them with such grace. Even with what was happening to her. She [was] definitely someone you don’t meet every day. I aspire to be like her.”

After Ames’ diagnosis, Laudato created “Amys Army,” a closed Facebook group of more than 300 members, to support Ames during her cancer battle. After she passed, the group took on a new meaning as a place to share memories, random acts of kindness in her honor, and their continuing efforts to raise breast cancer awareness.

Amy's ArmyAmy Ames (second from right) celebrates what was to be her last birthday with close friends (l. to r.) Jill Altomare, Mia Laudato, Cathy McFarland and Bethanne Weiss.

“I do different things throughout the year,” Nazario said. ”I buy someone their order in the drive-thru of McDonald’s or Starbucks and tell the cashier to tell them this was paid for in honor of Amy, and, if possible, pay it forward in her honor. We try to do it at least once a month. And for her birthday, we pay for coffee or lunch for some lucky people and make sure everyone knows it’s her birthday, and we want them to celebrate her life.”

“My last visit with her, even as I’m sitting there and she is [in a frail state], she asked me how my training was going,” said Anstey, who was training for an Ironman competition. “That’s just who she was, considerate and thoughtful, in tune with the people around her. The [Ironman] race was my promise to her.”

Ames passed away before the race, held in Chattanooga, Tennessee, in September 2014.

“I talked to her the entire time,” Anstey said of her race experience, which she posted on the group page. “I put my head down, and I felt so sick, and I kept thinking of her, and I knew she was right there with me.”

Anstey participated in the recent sixth annual Winter Garden Wheel Works Think Pink breast cancer cycling event. She also did last year’s event.

Buck intends to honor Ames’ memory at the Susan G. Komen Central Florida Race for the Cure. Buck’s team, Amy’s Army, will race Oct. 23 at the Oviedo Mall.

The American Cancer Society currently estimates one in eight women in the U.S. will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. In 2015, 231,840 new cases of invasive breast cancer were anticipated to be diagnosed among women, as well as an estimated 60,290 additional cases of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) breast cancer. That same year, approximately 40,290 women were expected to die from breast cancer. Breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer and the second-leading cause of cancer death among women.


Amy's Army
(L. to r.) Mia Laudato, the late Amy Ames, and Jill Altomare participate in a Making Strides Against Cancer walk.

Jolanda Nazerio also plans to run/walk the Race for the Cure in Amy’s memory with her daughter, Kayla, 12.

“It didn’t matter if you knew her an hour or 10 years, everybody felt connected to her as her best friend,” Nazerio said. “I always do [the Race for the Cure] in her memory. We collect money and raise awareness.”

In October 2014, Nazerio ran/walked a 10-mile race at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in honor of her late friend and her own father, who passed away from lymphoma.

“I felt like they were with me, like they gave me wings,” said Nazerio, who wrote “Opa” (Dutch for Grandpa) and “Amy” on the backs of her running shoes and shared it with the group. “I didn’t run the whole thing, but I finished it. It took a lot for me to do that.”

Like many in Amy’s Army, Anstey plans to continue sharing her friend’s memory and living by her example.

“My kids know her story,” she said. “I’m trying to teach them that life is a gift. If you love [something], work hard and give it your all. Appreciate each other and time together as a family. We have the opportunity to live like Amy, to see the best in people. I don’t know that a day goes by that she’s not with me, reminding me how to keep it all in perspective.”💓